Heathen Holiday
by Senko Wakimarin
Summary: Though neither is a Christian, there are traditions to the holiday that are too good not to try.


Brooding is not something Kakuzu often gives in to. Brooding is a waste of emotion, and if he's anything else, he's certainly not wasteful. He can be angry, and he can be annoyed, and he when he feels either of those, he is quite public in his display. Anger and annoyance, they are old companions- anger is a tireless horse, quick to raise its head and needing little to feed on, and annoyance is a tenacious rider. They are things Kakuzu is used to, and is comfortable expressing.

What he feels now is different; it's anger, surely, and there is annoyance too, but they are not alone. What accompanies them is a sort of guilt, and a feeling of something soft like sadness. There are other things tagging along too, weighing down his anger and dampening his annoyance, and like that soft almost-but-not-quite sadness, he's not exactly sure what they are. What he knows is that they are all uncomfortably _human_, and he had thought the last of his humanity had been carved out of his body before he'd ever left Takigakure. What he isn't sure of is how to express this myriad-emotion.

And so, he broods.

Leave it to Hidan to evoke such frivolous and disturbing emotions. That fool had more emotions circling his mind than he did thought, and this was only half of what made him such an insufferable idiot. And of course, the source of all this troublesome nonsense was nowhere to be found- and not for lack of trying. After their last little conflict, the silver-haired zealot had stormed off into the thickening snow storm, and had thence not been seen.

All day he'd been short-tempered and disagreeable; the only change from usual being the persistency with which he dodged Kakuzu's attempts to figure out whatever had him so riled. The most he could get out of the smaller man had been that it was too cold here, and that he was sick of hearing these heathens wailing about their false god.

True, the occasional singing they heard as they walked through the village could be annoying, but Kakuzu was well aware that he had a much lower threshold for annoyance. Something else was bothering the preacher, enough so that he actually _shut up_ about whatever it was. And how he bristled each time some passerby wished them a 'merry Christmas'.

Now, as Hidan could (at length) tell you, Kakuzu was by no means religious. He belonged to no religion. He was the truest of heathens, beyond an atheist; there was no master in his life but his own choices. So, though he knew that it had to be soon approaching, he hadn't known that this 'Christmas' was the next day. Had he, he might of understood the Jashinst's foul temper, even if he couldn't relate.

Instead, he's found himself getting more and more annoyed by Hidan's vulgar mutterings and rude commentary. Finally, on their way back from a less-than-pleasant dinner, he'd snapped at his partner. "If it bothers you so damn much that _none _of these people practice your idiot's creed; and may I remind you that almost _no one_ but you _does_ still practice it, and none of those left that do are even approaching sane; then leave. I'm willing to bet that not a single one of these people even knows your religion exists, much less realizes that they might be offending you. They are doing this out of custom, not just to spite you and your idiot god. So either shut up or go, because I can't stand your inane bitching anymore."

What was expected was that Hidan would turn his anger on Kakuzu; and there in the empty street they would argue until at least one of them exhausted himself. Likely the argument would follow them back to the hotel, and in their room it would become much more physical. Eventually the argument would fade and only the physical battle would remain, a battle that was less a continuation of disagreement and more the proceeding act to very messy, very rough sex that served as therapy and kept them both sane around each other.

Instead, Hidan's face had slowly reddened, his mouth began to open in his rebuttal… and then closed with a snap. With his jaw set, his eyes flickered just a moment's whisper of disappointment, he growled a short, tense, 'fine' through gritted teeth, and then he simply turned on his heel and fled into the falling snow. And too proud was Kakuzu to think anything of it; this was just one of the idiot's temper-tantrums, he told himself, and continued back to their rented room. He expected Hidan would return shortly, only a momentary lull in the routine.

In the empty hotel room, Kakuzu found himself able to feel the silence, the absence of his mouthy partner, and sat staring at the clock, watching as the minutes since they'd parted became an hour, and then two. It annoyed him further to see so much time pass with so little result, and slammed out of the lifeless room and back into the cold.

Knowing how the zealot despised such weather, Kakuzu focused his searches on the few open buildings in the little village, quickly running out of places to search and becoming increasingly irritated. Hidan was not supposed to be _this_ temperamental, and he should be a _hell_ of a lot more predictable… so why was he missing?

It was not concern that kept Kakuzu looking, but his annoyance and desire to have someone to take it out on. But, in the dark and with no clue where the albino had gone, his four hour search was fruitless. He returned to the hotel angry, annoyed, and confused, and had placed himself at the little desk in the corner by the window of their room, and had not moved since. His arms were crossed in front of him, and he forehead rested on them; to most he appeared a sleeping mass of muscle, black fabric, and red clouds. But he was of course, not sleeping; he was brooding.

Why, he wanted to know, was Hidan _still_ gone? He hadn't said anything worse that he'd said before; Hidan had taken punches to the face without running off. And what was that face, that look of disappointment? Surely he hadn't expected Kakuzu to be on his side.

After all, their relationship wasn't quite that of lovers. Love had so little to do with their life. They didn't hate each other, but their were times when it was a close thing; they fought more than any normal couple could ever imagine. They are both selfish creatures, drawn together for what the other can offer. All his life Kakuzu has been the loner, an outsider in the world where he quickly learned to act strictly in his own self interest.

Kakuzu was fully aware that he was a user, he was a manipulator interested only in his personal benefit… except when it came to Hidan. How many times had he conceded to Hidan's requests; spent money that didn't need spending or lost time for the preacher's tedious rituals. How much of himself had he given up to draw his partner close?

And he knew it wasn't a one sided concession. Hidan had given up things too, had changed drastically in the time they'd been together. Hidan was as much a user as Kakuzu, but they had both become inextricably tangled in each other's lives. They moved together, fought together, killed together. If two people could be considered a pack, they were a most terrible and fearsome one; neither would die, and each would kill for the other.

When they were separated, Kakuzu became agitated. And when they were together and he was annoyed, it was a different sort of annoyance than the sort that mad him itch for spilt blood. They were not lovers, but sometimes that was a close thing too…

In the dark night when they lay together in bed, they do not make love because love is a soft thing, a breakable thing. Love has nothing to do with their ferocious coupling, because if it did then one of them stood to get hurt, and they were both users. They were in it for pleasure, for sated lust, for a way to pass the time or assert dominance and settle a fight. They don't cry each other's names, or hold each other; they don't even concern themselves very much if the other enjoyed the act committed. No one has ever excited Kakuzu as Hidan does, but this is not because he _loves _the smaller man; Hidan is wild and loud and durable, taking what would kill other humans and _enjoying_ it. Hidan was deadly and energetic and willing; you didn't need to love someone to appreciate that. It didn't mean anything to Kakuzu that their sex seemed to have something incomparable to it; that it didn't lack a certain something, a spark of whatever to chase away the emptiness of a meaningless climax.

They are only using each other. They mean nothing to each other. Kakuzu had five hearts, and none of them had room for something as frivolous as 'love'.

He hears the door click open slowly but doesn't bother to look up as soft footsteps approach him. Only Hidan would dare approach him without announcing himself; even strangers could sense the danger and instability that coated him. The door swings shut, and he can feel the cold wafting off his immortal partner, and smell the blood he's been shedding.

"It's still fucking cold out there."

He doesn't raise his head, but mentally perks a brow. This is new, too. Hidan is not usually one to act as if they didn't have an unfinished argument to settle. "One would gather, as it's still snowing."

"Mmm." Hidan doesn't move any closer, only stands there and shifts slightly in place, as if waiting. When nothing comes, he clears his throat slightly. "You still pissed off?"

"That depends on how long you plan to continue acting like a three-year-old with Tourette's," Kakuzu growls, voice still muffled by his arms.

"You were looking for me."

"You spent half the day bitching about being outside."

"I thought you'd stay here."

"I would have. Then I thought you'd stay gone all night."

The exchange unnerves Kakuzu slightly; they've never spoken this way before. Everything is calm in the room, and even though his tone is it's normal irritated growl, Hidan has not taken the bait. And argument is not looming between them; and what remained of the one from before is slowly disintegrating.

"I didn't want to be alone."

Hidan's words finally get Kakuzu to sit up, to turn and look at the other man. In the dim light coming through the window, Hidan is completely without color, his pale skin contrasting sharply with the stark black of his pants. His hair is wet, and the cloak Kakuzu sees tossed carelessly in the corner by the door is sodden with melted snow and blood. His eyes, red under normal light, are a cold shade of gray/pink, and softened by whatever it was he spent all evening out in the snow doing. Or maybe by his return; Kakuzu doesn't know.

They look at each other for a long moment, everything still. They are not waiting for the other to speak, but soaking in the meaning of Hidan's last words. Then the zealot speaks again, his voice soft and as close to shy as Kakuzu will ever hear it. "I thought, maybe you don't want to be alone either."

He moves across the room as he says this, and though the motion is casual, there is an appeal to it that the stitched man can't quite define. Their eyes remain trained on each other as he sits on the single bed, and Kakuzu wonders what changed. This is not the normal _using_ he expects.

And yet this is an invitation he can never spurn, and he almost doesn't even realize he's moved until his one the bed and Hidan is in his arms, their lips locked together. Even the kiss is abnormal, gentler and fuller. The albino helps him undress and he easily does away with the dark pants that are his partner's only garment. He is carefully slow in his motions, not rushing, savoring and wondering at the strangeness.

This gentle act the perform together is foreign to both of them; neither have had much time in their lives to ever practice taking this much care with another's body. There is no pain in this, except one that Kakuzu feels as a tightening in his stomach and chest as he looks down at Hidan's face, and feels his hearts speed up just a little more.

In the end Kakuzu chokes back his partner's name, feeling Hidan's hands tighten at the back of his neck. They lay together in the dark, and except for their breath, there is no sound. Kakuzu wants to ask a question, but at the same time doesn't want to loose this oddly pleasant peace.

He feels Hidan's cheek pressed against his shoulder and automatically lifts his arm, letting the smaller form press against his arm before wrapping it around those delicate shoulders. They have never done this before either, and he finds it both incredibly strange, and very comforting.

The question he wants to ask so much is a both simple and deeply difficult. He wants to know why they have made this change, if it's permanent, if Hidan enjoyed it as much as he did. And yet he takes his time; questions posed to Hidan are often misconstrued as critiques or insults. He wants to preserve this, because after the hours of feeling so near to miserable, this is _nice_. Eventually, it slips from his mind to his lips anyway:

"Why are we doing this?"

This is not exactly how he planned to ask the question. Even in his own ears it sounds half awkward, as if he is not completely pleased. To his surprise, Hidan utters a sleepy laugh and scoots a touch closer.

"'S wha' I wann'd, " he slurs, voice muddled more by sleep than his position. "You wann'd me to quit bitching 'bout their stupid holiday. I thought 'bout it for a while an figured you were right and wann'd t' do summat to show I c'd be all accepting 'r whatever you wann'd. Custom, y' said it was custom, and you're s'possed to do gifts for this stupid heathen day…"

The long ramble trails off with a soft exhale as Hidan slips further into sleep, and the sound of it puts a faint smile on Kakuzu's scarred lips. He knows little enough about this particular holiday, but is deeply amused by Hidan's method of attempting to practice their custom.

His own eyes drift closed, and as he begins to nod off himself, he hears a his partner repeat one of the slogans attached to nearly every shop they'd passed today.

"'S the season fir giving."

A/N: Merry Christ-mass. I wasn't going to write this, but my need for giving presents got the better of me.

The request came on Christmas Eve, actually, from someone I don't know. I guess a reader on FFN. Something. Whatever, the idea was supposed to be Hidan and Kakuzu actually making an attempt at doing Christmas. Seeing as Hidan is a bit of a zealot, I really couldn't see that happening without a fight being involved.

Why the angsty Kakuzu introspect, you ask? Simple: I wanted to write it. I was inspired, I guess you could say.

Why the sex, you ask? Read the last answer.


End file.
